IT HAS BEEN ON MY MIND FOR SOMETIME NOW BUT THIS ISN'T THE FIRST.......
LIFE IS HARD ENOUGH JUST BEING ALIVE AND LIVING. NEVER THE LESS, TRYING TO STAY IN THE SHADOWS, KEEPING A LOW PROFILE, JUST BEING A REGULAR HUMAN IS ALSO GREAT. HOWEVER, WHAT IS ONE SUPPOSE TO DO WHEN HE GIVES YOU AN ASSIGNMENT AND IT'S EXTRA BIGG? WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE CALLED TO DO GREAT THINGS OR ACCOMPLISH BIGG OR ATTENTIONAL GOALS IN LIFE THAT SET YOU APART FROM THE REST ? I'LL TELL YOU, FIRST OF ALL, IT WILL PUT YOU IN A STATE OF MIND THAT MAKES YOU SAY "WHY ME?".
I LEARNED EARLY ON THAT I WAS DIFFERENT BUT NORMAL IN A SENSE OF DOING WHAT IS EXPECTED OF ME. YOU KNOW , GO TO SCHOOL, GRADUATE FROM COLLEGE ( didn't do that) GET MARRIED AND HAVE A FAMILY, ETC....(if you read my last blogs , you know how that went).
GROWING UP IN A LARGE FAMILY WAS GREAT BUT IT TO HAD IT'S DOWN FALLS. BEING THE SECOND GRANDCHILD WAS PRESSURE ENOUGH BEING THAT ALL COUSIN COMING UP AFTER YOU LOOKS TO YOU AS THE GO TO FOR OR THE Q & A FOR ALMOST EVERYTHING FAMILY BUSINESS OR SETTING THE TONE FOR OUR FUTURE. WELL I THINK I DID THAT IN SOME WAYS BUT FOR THE MOST PART I DID TRY.
MOVING FORWARD INTO MY ADULT LIFE WAS DIFFICULT BUT I DIDN'T TURN OUT TO BAD. TRYING TO FIND MY SPOT IN THIS CHAOTIC, PATRIOTIC, GROWING AND FAST PACE WORLD OF "YOU CAN BE ANYTHING YOU WANT" KINDA WORLD, HAD ME ALWAYS WONDERING, "WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO BE DOING HERE?" NOW THAT'S THE REAL Q & A.
I STARTED ASKING MYSELF THIS AND SEEKING ANSWERES FROM MY SPIRITUAL AWARENESS WITHIN. MY INFLUENCE OF MY PATH AND DESIRES OF MY HEART ALONG WITH MY EXPERIENCE THROUGH THIS JOURNEY OF LIFE TOOK ME IN AND OUT OF MY PASS EMOTIONS, MY PASSION FOR CREATING DANCE ROUTINES ACTING LIKE I WAS IN A MOTOWN GROUP WITH MY COUSINS, PUTTING THINGS TOGETHER (with the instructions of course) AND NOT GIVING UP UNTIL IT'S DONE. COMING FROM A WIDE DIVERSE FAMILY OF TALENTED PEOPLE OPENED THE DOOR OF INTEREST IN ENTERTAINMENT.
MOVING ON, I REALIZED THAT I WOULD MAKE A LEAP OF FAITH INTO THE MUSIC INDUSTRY TAKING ON A BEHIND THE SCENES SORTA BUT BIG POSITION AS AN MANAGER TO RECORDING ARTIST. THIS WAS A GREAT PLAN AS I THOUGHT UNTIL EVERY SENSE OF WHAT I WAS DOING REQUIRED MAINLY ON KNOWING THE KEY PLAYERS, IN WHICH I DIDN'T KNOW TO MANY BUT ONLY A HANDFUL...OKAY 2 OR 3. LOL. THE FEMALE GROUP WAS YOUNG AND TO PREOCCUPIED WITH PERSONAL ISSUES THEN GETTING THEIR BUSINESS AS A GROUP MOVING IN THE DIRECTION WE'D ALL AGREED ON. MY PERSONAL LIFE WAS NOT MAKING MY DECISIONS ANY BETTER NEITHER. SO THAT CAME AND WENT. I DIPPED AND DABBLED A FEW TIMES WITH THE MANAGING BUT I ALSO HAD URGES, PASSIONS AND VISIONS OF DOING MUCH MORE THEN MANAGING ARTIST. I LIKE MOST OF US DIDN'T BELIEVE IN MYSELF TO TAKE ON WHAT I KNEW WAS PUT IN ME TO DO. IT WAS TO BIG TO ACCOMPLISH AND TO FAR FETCH TO IMAGINE. I MASTERED THE PROCRASTINATING SKILL ALL TO WELL. GOING THROUGH LIFE ROLLER COASTERS OF DOING EVERYTHING BUT MADE IT EASIER FOR ME TO IGNORE WHAT WAS BURNING UP IN MY SOUL. WHEN LIFE HIT YOU IN THE RIGHT SPACE AND TIME ZONE OF YOUR LIFE AND NOTHING ELSE MAKES YOU DRIVE THE PASSION TO DO YOU COMES TO AN BIG ASS PIMPLE THAT YOU WANT TO POP SO BAD TAKES OVER, ALL THE GIVING UP AND HOPING IT'LL GO AWAY JUST DOESN'T TAKE OVER YOU ANYMORE.
SO THE BIGG Q & A IS NOT DO I GIVE UP BUT RATHER WHY GIVE UP?
TO BE CONTINUED....XOXO
